I read these analogies / metaphors on some site or whatever the other day whilst stumbling around on the web.

They are actual examples from pupils’ English Exam papers.

They made me laugh out loud like a man making an involuntary sound emanating from just below his nose. There were loads. These were / are my absolute ‘faves’ ...

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

Heh! Joy!